Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Yellow Jelly bean

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Sometimes I dream of living out in the country and raising babies.. I guess I crave the simple life.
Letting my kids play without worrying about them getting kidnapped, run over yadda yadda.
Truth is? I'm a suburb kinda girl. 
I can't handle the wild outdoors.. One word- snakes. That's enough to send me back to reality.
But when you're three, things like that don't ever cross your mind.
When you're three, things are simple.
 I envy three.
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These pictures evoke emotion in me.
Seeing the wonder in her eyes. Seeing the world as new and exciting.
I long for the days of three. 
Hope of what you will grow up to be, instead of the now of what you became.
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Remember getting bored as a kid?
I can hardly remember what that feels like anymore, to be bored.
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I envy the time she spends lounging and watching a movie, or playing make believe.
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I want to look back and remember good times.
These pictures will help me to capture the essence of her before time takes this her away.
I can barely remember the five month old Chloe, but when I 
see the snippets of memories I captured  I can remember her then.
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The absurdity of parenting small children in general is crazy hard at times.
These moments help me laugh before I give up and cry. And then, when I DO cry, they help me feel less of a failure and much more like I was NORMAL but could also maybe, just maybe be GOOD sometimes, too.  
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When I see these, I see Happy.
 I like to think she is.
I like to think she doesn't get phased by the mistakes I make raising her.
I hope that's the case. 
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It's not pretty, a lot of the time. 
But when it IS pretty, it is BREATHTAKING.
That is what I want to remember. The breathtaking. The sweet. The HAPPY.
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Three has been pretty good to us. There is so much that has changed since three has come.
She has adapted.
So much more that I thought she could.
The end of toddlerhood is at hand, and I can't believe we are on the cusp of little girl.
Pre-school starts in two weeks.
Ballet begins.
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I remember my mother used to call me her "yellow jelly bean"
She said I brighten her life.
These silly little things are the things that stuck with me,
 and I hope that my girls can remember the same kind of things.
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My dear sweet girl you are MY little yellow jelly bean..

3 comments:

  1. What a sweet, heartfelt post. I never have the eloquence in writing to get those kind of feelings on paper like that.
    Beautiful, Leah!

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  2. Love this! Beautiful pictures, beautiful girl, beautiful words! YOU are a wonderful mom to those girls! They are SOooooo lucky to have you!

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  3. Chloë and Piper have parents that are PERFECT for them! They are SO loved! The beautiful pictures that you have taken capture the pure joy in their countenances--like peering through heaven's windows.
    I love you all SO much!

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