Friday, March 24, 2017


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It’s been many many months since I came by here, which is unfortunate, but very necessary. I had  pushed out of my mind how intense and rough the first few months can be after birthing a baby. They call it the 4th trimester? I wouldn’t want to continue being pregnant for another 3 months, but part of me wouldn’t mind considering it if it meant these babies could come out just a tad more prepared for being alive. The gas! The crying! For the love of Justin Beiber, let these poor babies be fully functioning when they exit. It’s sad to watch and very hard on us parents who get the babies who don’t deal well with it (Penelope was a baby that dealt very well with it).
It’s been a little rough. Isla is the cutest baby and with great cuteness comes great responsibility to be the fussiest baby around to even things out. Her cuteness is her defense mechanism against getting sent to the cute baby circus at 3am. She isn't my worst baby at all. Chloe and Piper were worse!! Slowly, s.l.o.w.l.y., things will improve but it ill be touch and go here for a while. I cry when she does. We do all the things, yet nothing helps enough. I have days where I literally need to hold and wear her all day while she screams near my ears and by the time Adam gets home I am at hot mess level orange and Piper Penelope and Chloe are sitting in front of the television eating their third pack of fruit snacks because whatthehellever kids I’m just so sorry your sister loves screaming like a banshee and your mom yells a lot. Super sorry.
She’ll be 2 months old this week.  I feel like when this was my first baby I was in the abyss of my own tears trying to figure out what is wrong with her and wondering if it will ever end. But I’ve had one of these things before, and even though I think she was a different baby than Chloe, and even Piper I do know that all babies even out eventually and that there is a light somewhere down there. I’m hanging in there because I know that. But I know there are many new moms out there in my spot who may feel alone and overwhelmed and so to you I say, you are doing amazing. This too shall pass. It will get better. It feels like it won’t but it will. No one can promise when, but it will.

What is really hard to swallow is the mom guilt. Knowing I am spread so thin, that everyone is only getting a piece of me, and that is all I have to give right now. Of this I feel the worst. For now she needs both of my hands, and everyone else gets a pinkie. But I have learned to get help. My mom is helpful, and I have a babysitter 2x a week for a couple of hours to run my errands without 3 little people screaming and whining, just one baby who if I wrap up just so in her Solly carrier will let me walk through Target as I rush to grab everything I need before she decides to wake. 
I’ve found that as she slowly gets better, I also will get better at coping. Does she have reflux?but nothing is really wrong with her that we can “fix”. She’s a baby, she’s new, and she cries. Some babies are just like that. It doesn’t make it any easier, but coming to terms with that is lifting the anxiety. Knowing that I’ve done all the things I can to make her comfortable and that after that she’s just going to yell if she wants to, has made my days feel easier Accepting that this time is so short in the grand scheme and that my house will be a mess and I will be a mess right now and someday maybe it won’t and maybe I wont, has helped. And I can’t be sure but I think my relaxing lately has helped her as well. I’m sure she could sense my anxiety because even though they are new, babies are smart like that.
So here we are at 8 weeks and a combination of me relaxing, her insides maturing, and quite simply, time, will give me the ability to do things like eat, clean up the house, and open my computer. I will get to enjoy my baby, which I feel like I have been kind of robbed of for a while. I know lots of babies cry for much longer and things could be much, much worse, but I still feel that way. Sleep deprivation makes everything worse. Being a new mom is really f*** hard even in the most lovely of circumstances. You’re doing okay, and so will I.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Baby shower for baby #4

My friend Shelley insisted on throwing me, and my friend Lacie a baby shower for my 4th and her 3rd girl. She went with a "little pumpkin" theme. It. was. darling! She made these adorable little stuffed pumpkins in mint and coral. The food was divine, and the company was perfect.

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It's been so fun being pregnant with Lacie. Her oldest (evey) and Piper are the same age, and her second (Lyla) and Penelope are about the same age. Now these little girls get to be around the same age, and I am so excited that we get to share this fun journey together. 
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My sweet friend Shelley in the middle. She is so talented and thoughtful.
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 Everyone gave the most adorable gifts ever! It was a such a great party. I feel so blessed to have such great friends!

Monday, October 24, 2016

Baby name list for baby girl # 4

  • Here is our name list so far or 2016. Adam called me the other day from work, and gave me a list of girl names he was thinking of, so here is a mix of his, and mine, and No idea what we will choose yet!! 

  •  Emma-  "Emmie" The meaning of the name Emma is Universal. The origin of the name Emma is Latin
  •  Lucy-  The meaning of the name Lucy is Light. The origin of the name Lucy is English
  • Isla- The meaning of the name Isla is Island.
  • Lulu- (most likely what we would call her if we named her Lucy) The meaning of the name Lulu is Famous Warrior The origin of the name Lulu is English
  • Amelia-  "Millie" or Emilia- (we would call her Emma, Emmie, or millie) The meaning of the name Amelia is To Strive Or Excel Or Rival. The origin of the name Amelia is Latin
  • Daisy -The meaning of the name Daisy is Daisy Flower. The origin of the name Daisy is American
  • Ivie- The meaning of the name Ivie is Ivy like the plant.
  • Lillie- Pure
  • Eva- (pronounced with a soft E like Elephant) The meaning of the name Eva is Giver Of Life The origin of the name Eva is Hebrew
  • Rosie
  • Lola
  • Sofie - Sophie wisdom, wise
  • Alice (Allie)- The meaning of the name Alice is Of A Noble Kin. The origin of the name Alice is English
  • Livvie- form of Olivia the meaning of the name Livvy is Elf Army 
  • Clementine- The meaning of the name Clementine is Feminine Form Of Clement
  • Sadie-The meaning of the name Sadie is Princess
  • Cosette -The meaning of the name Cosette is Victorious People
  • Taffeta-The meaning of the name Taffeta is Crispy Silk Fabric
  • Vaida- The meaning of the name Vada is Famous Ruler
  • Tabitha- The meaning of the name Tabitha is A Gazelle
  • Lulu - (middle name)
  • Kate (middle name)
  • belle (middle name)
  • June (middle name)
  • Rose (middle name)

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Fall family pictures 2016

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Piper's first day of Preschool (3's)

Piper started her 3's preschool at Walnut creek Presbyterian. She loves going to class with her friend Evey. She loves Art and comes home singing her cute Christian songs. She goes 3 days a week . Tue wed and thurs.
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Tuesday, August 23, 2016

First day of 1st grade!!

I can't believe the summer is over! This little girl is so excited to be back at school with her friends. She really missed them! This morning she was so happy to go, the only thing she was a little nervous about was how to pay for lunch in the cafeteria. I assured her that because she has never been to all day school and eaten in the cafeteria before someone would show her where to go and what to do. She went to classroom 18 and found her friend Victoria (Vicki) and ran off giggling and playing. She is in PALS and has the same teacher Ms. Robinson this year again, so that is comforting. I can't wait to hear more about how her day went! Update to come..
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